Catherine Finger

Stepping Out into Your Irresistible Future with Him in 2023

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Each new year ushers in the opportunity to refresh, recommit, and transform “destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future.” Faith traditions offer various routes to transformation of the mind, body, and soul. My own Judeo-Christian faith beliefs lead me to a “constructive thoughtfulness” as laid out in Romans 12:1-2, (NASB version) as follows:
I urge you therefore, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.

Transformation begins by examining our day-to-day habits and routines. How is your physical health? How is your nutrition? Are you getting enough rest and relaxation? How is your daily physical movement coming along? If you could take two daily steps to improve your physical vitality in the new year, what would they be? Our physical selves reflect our Creator—we can honor the Divine by treating our bodies with respect and implementing healthful habits.

“Presenting ourselves in a manner acceptable to God” can be as simple as beginning your day in prayer and meditation. Inviting God to lead you and asking Him for the strength to live according to His will for you today is a “spiritual service of worship.” God is in the business of connecting, speaking, and leading us if we would but turn to Him with the slightest nod of even the hardest of hearts. Offer yourself to Him as you are—and incline your inner ear to His still, small voice. If you’re willing to stop and listen—you will hear His call to you. James 4:8 (NASB) says: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Try it!

Renewing our minds has never been more critical than it is in today’s climate of constant distraction. Develop and reinforce positive mental habits by reading uplifting and challenging content every day—starting with the Bible or other faith-based information that will strengthen your daily journey. Starting each day with a practice of gratitude, prayer, meditation, and reading or listening to something uplifting and thought-provoking can help set you on a positive path for the day. Writing your intentions for the day and then engaging in a quick review at the end of your day reinforces your habits and helps you renew your mind by engaging in new practices as you explore new mental models. Transformation is the result of inner renewal. Renewal is the result of engaging in positive spiritual, mental, and physical health habits and behaviors.

How do we know we are on the right path—or how do we know the will of God for our lives? I love the simplicity of the will of God as listed in Romans 12:2 (NASB:) “that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.” Boom! That’s how we prove the will of God. Is the practice in which you are engaging good, acceptable, and perfect? Is the relationship you are considering good, acceptable, and perfect? Are your current habits and practices of day-to-day living good, acceptable, and perfect? For me this is a simple test—if something in my life doesn’t even reach the threshold of “good,” it surely won’t grow into the categories of “acceptable or perfect.” And so, I receive the invitation to change, to renewal, to transformation.

I encourage you to be on the lookout for subtle invitations to growth from the Divine as you step out into your own Irresistible Future with Him in 2023.

Happy Endings–Bold Beginnings

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How will you say goodbye to 2022—and what would you like to be able to celebrate in one year’s time? Endings and beginnings can be powerful transitions in our lives. As we approach the end of 2022, I encourage you to take some time to consider what you want to release—and what goals or milestones you want to reach in 2023.

Make space for reflection over the holiday season. Walk through a set of questions and spend a little time journaling your thoughts. Writing is a powerful tool for reflection as you identify what isn’t working and open yourself to activating more of what works well for you.

Reflection: Take a quick look at this year’s greatest hits.  Scan your year month by month, week by week, day by day—whichever way best serves you. Be mindful of your highs and lows—spend more time on your highs. What went really well for you this year—and how can you leverage that success as you look into 2023? What didn’t work so well for you—and what tweaks do you need to consider moving forward? Don’t let yourself get bogged down in maudlin memories—just acknowledge what you want to let go of to make space for what you want more of in your life. Think of it as cleaning out a closet, or a garage. You can’t park that Maserati if your garage is full of a year’s worth—or more—of outdated detritus. These are some of my framing questions:

  • What did you love about this year? What worked really well for you? What should we be celebrating in your life?
  • What did you hate about this year? What didn’t work so well for you? What do-overs would you give yourself?
  • What were your most joyful moments this year? What do you want more of, looking forward?
  • What were you most painful moments? What do you want less of, looking forward?
  • What did you learn about yourself?
  • What was the best decision you made this year?

Ritual: I call my favorite end-of-year ritual “Burn Baby, Burn!” I’ve done this activity collectively to celebrate the end of a New Year’s Eve party, at workshops and retreats, and sometimes all alone in my backyard. It begins with a brief period of reflection. Guests receive small squares of paper and pens/pencils and are invited to consider what they loved and didn’t love about the past year.  I ask them to think of one thing they want to release, say goodbye to, remove, delete from their lives forever—and to write that down on a piece of paper.  Questions I like to ask include:

  • What do you need to do to clear your own runway for takeoff?
  • What barriers stand between you and success?
  • What are you dying to unload or unleash in your life?
  • What’s holding you back?
  • What habit or practice do you need to stop doing? What do you need to get rid of and eliminate from your life?

Write them all down—and get ready to cast them all off—this is where the fire comes in! I start a small bonfire in my backyard (are my country roots showing yet?) and invite my guests to join me in the frigid winter air. One by one, guests approach the fire and are invited to hold up that piece of paper and proclaim (either silently or out loud) what they are releasing—and then toss it into the fire. Or rip it up into tiny pieces and then toss it into the fire. There will be some tears and there be a lot of rejoicing as the fire builds and your guests experience the freedom of letting go!

Reframe: The last step of my annual reflection and renewal process—and the perfect ending for the “Burn Baby, Burn!” experience—is to breathe in the new. Invite everyone to reflect on what is good, acceptable, and perfect about their lives. I like to encourage my guests with the ancient wisdom of St. Paul: “forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.” Invite your guests to release what has been turned to ashes and to commit to a new habit, practice, promise, or way of being. Have them write down this renewal pledge as a way of saving it in their hearts and minds.

Real change is possible—and transitioning into a new year is a great time to double down on what you want to invite more of in your life. Give yourself the gift of clarity and support as you move toward your own challenges and commitments with renewed intention. Find a friend, hire a coach, sketch out your action plan and post it where you’ll see it every day, invest in an online program—give yourself whatever you need to support the changes you seek. And get ready to celebrate your success at the end of 2023!

Lessons Learned from Hitting the Wall

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“I hit the wall, Doc. I need your help.”

When one of my highest-performing leaders opened a recent session with this plea for help, it surprised us both. Think Top Gun-era Tom Cruise and ratchet it up several notches. Wildly successful by any measure personally and professionally, this top-of-his-game, prime-of-his-life leader found himself unable to get out of bed and unwilling to engage with anyone other than his wife, his children, and me.

After exploring his experiences and identifying his immediate needs, together we crafted a step-by-step plan designed to support him through this tough time. Part of our planning included prioritizing rest—for his body, mind, and spirit. Once we addressed his immediate physical needs (including a medical review) we moved on to thinking differently about his priorities, scaling back for the moment, and reframing his hard-hitting schedule.

  1. Recognize the wall—and the gift behind the wall. It is shocking to discover our humanity—especially when faced with limitations and needs. Your wall of exhaustion and your faltering body may be trying to get your attention. What is the message behind this wall? What gifts might be waiting to emerge during this debilitating experience?
  2. NOW. Stop, drop and REST. Body, mind, and spirit. I know this is hard for leaders. But not resting and continuing to ignore what your body is trying to tell you can be much, much harder in the long run. And here’s a bonus: as a leader, taking care of yourself in front of your colleagues gives them permission to take care of themselves. What would you tell your best friend if he were experiencing the same symptoms that you are experiencing right now? Give yourself that same stellar advice and follow it.
  3. Reframe your idea of priorities. That urgent work pile is not likely to go away while you are still working. Don’t fall into that trap of “when I get this done, then I’ll…” Peak performers are NEVER done with those urgent projects and initiatives. Learn to manage the anxiety that comes with increased workloads and heightened responsibilities and learn to trust yourself. Change your inner messaging from “I’ll never get this done” to “I’ve got this.” Each day has enough troubles of its own. Keep your focus on the present, and trust that the future will be handled when it arrives.
  4. Reaffirm your faith—including faith in your family, in your ability to bounce back, and in your organization’s ability to survive without you having to run faster than a speeding bullet. Lean into your belief system and trust that there is a larger purpose for your momentary suffering. Who knows what fruit might be developing in your life through this difficult period? You have to go through the wall to get to the other side—but you get to choose whether or not to keep going through that wall. No one else can make that decision for you.
  5. Recognize the talent and power in colleagues around you that may have been waiting for their moment to shine—and give it to them. Empower others to step in and pick up some of your leadership responsibilities—who knows, you may realize that you should have delegated more to your colleagues long ago.
  6. Recruit trusted supporters and invite them to help you recognize the key indicators you missed along the way while heading toward that brick wall. In my client’s case, he’d grown accustomed to being the fastest, brightest, shiniest bulb in any marquis. Whenever people questioned his level of responsibilities and commitments, he would smile and embrace the load—making it look far easier than it actually was. His wife, however, did not. She would question him and offer her advice about his need for solitude and rest—which he routinely ignored. During the quiet moments of recovery from his hitting-the-wall reality, it was her voice he heard in those still small moments while reflecting on what early indicators he might have missed. Going forward, her questions are now a part of his early warning system, as are noticing his emotional state and taking care of his physical need for rest.
  7. Reap the lessons learned and integrate them into the way you work. Several years ago, I was struck with a bout of vertigo at an airport while traveling to speak at a national women’s leadership conference. I remember pushing through my panic and allowing myself to wonder whether this is the time my life changes and no longer includes routine travel to serve others in my leadership journey. I gave myself permission to stay; permission to leave; permission to wait and see what happens next. Several canceled and rescheduled flights later, I arrived at the conference center with a little less vigor than I’d preferred having learned a valuable lesson: I can build enough margin into my schedule to make room for the unexpected. And, if I do have to cancel or reschedule an event due to illness or unforeseen circumstances, I can do that as well. Life doesn’t have to fit inside of our limiting “all or nothing” perspectives. By the way, I did give that speech and I had a wonderful time with a fabulous group of women—and I made it home just fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Turn The Great Resignation Into Your Great Reframing

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I am delighted to share my first official article published today after being named an Executive Contributor for Brainz Magazine!

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

The compelling question of whether to join the masses and jump off the cliff of commitment into the Great Resignation has been cropping up in coaching sessions quite a bit lately. I understand the allure—and I am a big fan of challenge and change in general, so my clients find a strong ally in me when grappling with this question. Today I offer you five questions and perspectives my clients and I consider when addressing the issue of whether it is time to resign—or reframe.
A beautiful photo of blue sea and a cliff.

1. It’s never too late to quit.

Do you have to quit today? Many work-related problems fade rather quickly. Give yourself time to manage the event that might be tempting you to cash it in. Dropping the mic and walking away can be tempting—but what’s the rush? You don’t need to decide whether you’re going to stay or walk away today. Give yourself the luxury of time and perspective.

2. Make sure your choice to leave is your choice to leave.

Sometimes catastrophic work-related events color our vision, squeezing out all that is right and wonderful with our worlds at work until the only option we can see clearly is an exit sign. While there are certainly times when we may need to leave—sometimes our emotions run wild and prevent us from seeing our own distorted thinking. Is there a habit, practice, or initiative that you need to start or stop doing that could make a big difference in your world of work right now? Maybe personal growth in your current workplace is what your brain is trying to push you toward. And that ‘stay and grow’ door sits right next to that ‘exit sign’ in our minds. Make sure you don’t mistake the call to stay and grow in the glare of a pulsing exit sign.

3. Clarity is your friend.

Walk yourself through the questions you would ask your best friend struggling with the ‘should I stay or should I go’ decision. What’s driving your desire to resign? Do you want to leave—or do you need to change something in your current setting right now? Do you need to go—or is there something that no longer serves you in the way you are seeing and experiencing yourself at work?

4. Is the grass really all that green on the other side of the proverbial fence?

While there certainly are many benefits to embracing change professionally and personally, we often underestimate the impact of transitions. How will shifting into a new job impact you, your family, and your career? What if your shiny new job turns out to be a pit of vipers wrapped in a “grass is always greener” veneer? What is your game plan for addressing the unintended consequences of the challenges and changes that transitioning into a new job—or no job—brings?

5. What if you could be happy/happier/happy enough where you are?

What would it take for you to become content with your current circumstances? What are the three best things about your current workplace—and how can you capitalize on them? What are the three worst things about staying in your current workplace—and how can you orchestrate improvements? Perhaps advocating for yourself financially and asking for additional compensation is in order. How can you contribute to your own personal and professional growth while remaining where you are for the time being? Perhaps joining or starting professional development opportunities could help you stay refreshed. Engaging in a life-affirming hobby can do wonders for your energy and perspective both on the job and at home. Another great way to expand connections and broaden your perspective while staying at the same job is to become actively engaged in professional organizations at the state, national, or international levels.

You’ve got my permission to stay. What will it take to permit yourself to stay in your current role? Here’s to the courage to dig deeper, listen to the desires of your heart, and allow yourself time and space to reframe instead of joining the great resignation.

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Award-winning author Catherine Finger contributes to the well-being of others by offering executive, personal, and author coaching services. Throughout her career as a public-school leader, mentoring current and emerging leaders was one of her greatest joys. This experience, coupled with her passion to instill hope for leadership, love, and life led her to launch Loving the Leading, an executive coaching and consulting business in 2020. Her years of successful experience as an educational leader, board member, adjunct professor, award-winning author, law enforcement chaplain and community leader equip her with unique insights and deep intuition on both organizations and individuals.