Catherine Finger

Stepping Out into Your Irresistible Future with Him in 2023

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Each new year ushers in the opportunity to refresh, recommit, and transform “destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future.” Faith traditions offer various routes to transformation of the mind, body, and soul. My own Judeo-Christian faith beliefs lead me to a “constructive thoughtfulness” as laid out in Romans 12:1-2, (NASB version) as follows:
I urge you therefore, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.

Transformation begins by examining our day-to-day habits and routines. How is your physical health? How is your nutrition? Are you getting enough rest and relaxation? How is your daily physical movement coming along? If you could take two daily steps to improve your physical vitality in the new year, what would they be? Our physical selves reflect our Creator—we can honor the Divine by treating our bodies with respect and implementing healthful habits.

“Presenting ourselves in a manner acceptable to God” can be as simple as beginning your day in prayer and meditation. Inviting God to lead you and asking Him for the strength to live according to His will for you today is a “spiritual service of worship.” God is in the business of connecting, speaking, and leading us if we would but turn to Him with the slightest nod of even the hardest of hearts. Offer yourself to Him as you are—and incline your inner ear to His still, small voice. If you’re willing to stop and listen—you will hear His call to you. James 4:8 (NASB) says: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Try it!

Renewing our minds has never been more critical than it is in today’s climate of constant distraction. Develop and reinforce positive mental habits by reading uplifting and challenging content every day—starting with the Bible or other faith-based information that will strengthen your daily journey. Starting each day with a practice of gratitude, prayer, meditation, and reading or listening to something uplifting and thought-provoking can help set you on a positive path for the day. Writing your intentions for the day and then engaging in a quick review at the end of your day reinforces your habits and helps you renew your mind by engaging in new practices as you explore new mental models. Transformation is the result of inner renewal. Renewal is the result of engaging in positive spiritual, mental, and physical health habits and behaviors.

How do we know we are on the right path—or how do we know the will of God for our lives? I love the simplicity of the will of God as listed in Romans 12:2 (NASB:) “that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.” Boom! That’s how we prove the will of God. Is the practice in which you are engaging good, acceptable, and perfect? Is the relationship you are considering good, acceptable, and perfect? Are your current habits and practices of day-to-day living good, acceptable, and perfect? For me this is a simple test—if something in my life doesn’t even reach the threshold of “good,” it surely won’t grow into the categories of “acceptable or perfect.” And so, I receive the invitation to change, to renewal, to transformation.

I encourage you to be on the lookout for subtle invitations to growth from the Divine as you step out into your own Irresistible Future with Him in 2023.

Happy Endings–Bold Beginnings

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How will you say goodbye to 2022—and what would you like to be able to celebrate in one year’s time? Endings and beginnings can be powerful transitions in our lives. As we approach the end of 2022, I encourage you to take some time to consider what you want to release—and what goals or milestones you want to reach in 2023.

Make space for reflection over the holiday season. Walk through a set of questions and spend a little time journaling your thoughts. Writing is a powerful tool for reflection as you identify what isn’t working and open yourself to activating more of what works well for you.

Reflection: Take a quick look at this year’s greatest hits.  Scan your year month by month, week by week, day by day—whichever way best serves you. Be mindful of your highs and lows—spend more time on your highs. What went really well for you this year—and how can you leverage that success as you look into 2023? What didn’t work so well for you—and what tweaks do you need to consider moving forward? Don’t let yourself get bogged down in maudlin memories—just acknowledge what you want to let go of to make space for what you want more of in your life. Think of it as cleaning out a closet, or a garage. You can’t park that Maserati if your garage is full of a year’s worth—or more—of outdated detritus. These are some of my framing questions:

  • What did you love about this year? What worked really well for you? What should we be celebrating in your life?
  • What did you hate about this year? What didn’t work so well for you? What do-overs would you give yourself?
  • What were your most joyful moments this year? What do you want more of, looking forward?
  • What were you most painful moments? What do you want less of, looking forward?
  • What did you learn about yourself?
  • What was the best decision you made this year?

Ritual: I call my favorite end-of-year ritual “Burn Baby, Burn!” I’ve done this activity collectively to celebrate the end of a New Year’s Eve party, at workshops and retreats, and sometimes all alone in my backyard. It begins with a brief period of reflection. Guests receive small squares of paper and pens/pencils and are invited to consider what they loved and didn’t love about the past year.  I ask them to think of one thing they want to release, say goodbye to, remove, delete from their lives forever—and to write that down on a piece of paper.  Questions I like to ask include:

  • What do you need to do to clear your own runway for takeoff?
  • What barriers stand between you and success?
  • What are you dying to unload or unleash in your life?
  • What’s holding you back?
  • What habit or practice do you need to stop doing? What do you need to get rid of and eliminate from your life?

Write them all down—and get ready to cast them all off—this is where the fire comes in! I start a small bonfire in my backyard (are my country roots showing yet?) and invite my guests to join me in the frigid winter air. One by one, guests approach the fire and are invited to hold up that piece of paper and proclaim (either silently or out loud) what they are releasing—and then toss it into the fire. Or rip it up into tiny pieces and then toss it into the fire. There will be some tears and there be a lot of rejoicing as the fire builds and your guests experience the freedom of letting go!

Reframe: The last step of my annual reflection and renewal process—and the perfect ending for the “Burn Baby, Burn!” experience—is to breathe in the new. Invite everyone to reflect on what is good, acceptable, and perfect about their lives. I like to encourage my guests with the ancient wisdom of St. Paul: “forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.” Invite your guests to release what has been turned to ashes and to commit to a new habit, practice, promise, or way of being. Have them write down this renewal pledge as a way of saving it in their hearts and minds.

Real change is possible—and transitioning into a new year is a great time to double down on what you want to invite more of in your life. Give yourself the gift of clarity and support as you move toward your own challenges and commitments with renewed intention. Find a friend, hire a coach, sketch out your action plan and post it where you’ll see it every day, invest in an online program—give yourself whatever you need to support the changes you seek. And get ready to celebrate your success at the end of 2023!

Catherine Finger Earns 2022 CEO Today Executive Coaching Award!

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CEO Today announced the full list of winners of their 2022 CEO Today Executive Coaching Awards–and Catherine Finger is featured on page 79! You may see the listing from the CEO Today journal here: https://executivecoachingawards.ceotodaymagazine.com/winners-edition/79/

The following excerpts are from a press release issued by CEO Today  earlier this week: Every month, CEO Today Magazine features perspectives from business leaders at the top of their field. Though they may now be running S&P 500 and FTSE companies, they came from more humble beginnings. Often, their inspirational leadership and management skills were shaped by the expert training of an executive coach.

This new publication aims to celebrate professionals whose work in the world of business is less visible, but no less crucial for it. Every great figure of the modern business world, from Jeff Bezos to Larry Page, has benefited from the work of a coach to sharpen their acumen and perfect their leadership style – an advantage that even SMEs the world over are now beginning to recognize.

The 2022 CEO Today Executive Coaching Awards honor coaches including the likes of Navid Nazemian, Peter Baloh, Borut Jeglič, Tracy Clark, Mercy Situmbeko, Victoria Hepburn–and Catherine Finger. All are shining examples of leadership and emotional intelligence whose insights will fascinate any CEO with ambitions of industry-leading success. We at CEO Today are proud to present this special publication. Congratulations to all of our winners and finalists.

 

 

 

Executive Coach Catherine Finger Named to 2022 Top 15 Coaches List by Influence Digest!

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I was delighted to be included on the Influence Digest 2022 Top 15 Coaches list for the greater metropolitan Detroit area–and so grateful for my Detroit area clients! This award was made public on August 30, 2022 and included a profile and bio in the Influence Digest edition available at this link: https://influencedigest.com/coaching/top-coaches-detroit-2022/

What Would You Do if You Knew You Could Not Fail?

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Being the cool, growth-oriented professionals that we are, I’m pretty sure most of you engage your clients and colleagues with a question of this sort now and then. When’s the last time you asked this question of yourself? What would YOU do if you knew you could not fail? In your leadership practice? In your relationships? In your personal and professional growth?

Today is a great day to open your heart to the possibilities of challenge and change that may be incubating deep within. While we want to always maintain a personal posture of loving self-acceptance and contentment, personal and professional growth are key contributors to well-being. How are you doing in terms of your own personal and professional growth?

What are some of your Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals (BHAGs?) Jim Collins coined that phrase way back in 2001 in his renowned corporate strategy book Good to Great. I can tell you I am at my best professionally and personally when working to realize a BHAG or two in my own life. This year one of my very challenging goals has been to further develop my coaching practice by expanding my advertising, writing, and networking platforms. Doing the work is at once energizing and terrifying—and it is leading to connection, community, and great growth.

Becoming more involved in professional coaching communities is another goal that leads to great growth and connection in my life. This year I am delighted to be able to engage that goal to a new level by actively participating in the Midwest Coaches Conference. This will be my very first in-person professional coaching conference and I am already committed to serving in the ICF WI booth and to attending the Progressive Ethnic Meal with other ICF Wi colleagues. Additionally, I am delighted to be able to attend the International Fellowship of Chaplains national conference in a few weeks.

How about you? Would generating your own BHAG spur you to greater connection and challenge you to deeper personal and professional growth? I’d love to hear about it—and support you along the way. You’re welcome to share your journey with me here: catherine@catherinefinger.com

Beat Those Back-to-School Blues!

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Do you have a recurring back-to-school dream (i.e., nightmare!) that signals the beginning of another school year? I used to have teacher nightmares before school started—in which I would show up late and unburdened by clothing to my Spanish class in a large urban high school…after having gotten lost and locked in a few stairwells. When I moved into my first central office position, I started dreaming I was on a beach in a swimsuit, soaking up the sun a half block away from colorful cabanas. Said cabanas would suddenly spring to life and I would find myself dragged through them, car wash style. I’d quickly emerge wearing a skirt suit, carrying a briefcase, and walking down a tiled school hallway between two suit-clad men. Yikes!

As you start putting the finishing touches on your annual back-to-school celebrations and rituals, let’s unearth those nightmares and kick those back-to-school blues to the curb.

I’d like to invite you to begin your new school year by reflecting on who you are, what you do best, and how leaning into your strengths can lead you into more powerful and positive leadership behaviors.

One of my favorite executive coaching exercises is called the Peak Experience. This exercise emerged from the Appreciative Inquiry (AI) movement and is designed to help clients focus on past successes to identify strengths, positive core beliefs and generate positive feelings—leading to more powerful action in their current settings. Appreciative Inquiry (AI) is a collaborative and strengths-based change management model pioneered by David Cooperrider and Suresh Srivastava in the 1980’s at the Weatherhead School of Management at Case Western Reserve University.

Here’s how I typically invite clients into this practice during in coaching session:

• Please tell me about a peak experience you’ve had in your professional or personal life. It may be a time when you felt most alive, most involved, or most excited about what you were involved in. What made it an exciting experienced? Who was involved? What images come to mind as you recall this experience? What made it so wonderful, so powerful?
• What feelings bubble up for you as you recall this experience? List them. What feelings did you have? What impressions do you recall as you think back to this positive experience? What feelings did you experience?
• What strengths were present for you as you recall this experience? What strengths were demonstrated in this initiative, this success, this memory?
• What other strengths, talents or character traits come show up for you as you remember this peak experience?

Once you have developed a clear picture of your peak experience, accompanying feelings, strengths, and character traits, and you are noticing how you feel when you recall this experience—this forms the nucleus of a powerful place you can return to when you want to shift your thinking into a more positive frame of mind. By repeating this practice a few times a day, you can learn to call up your peak experience, review your strengths and generate the accompanying positive emotions in as little as three to five minutes.

Learning to center ourselves and draw from our inner power in practical ways is a ninja-level leadership move that can serve to quiet our minds and help prepare for difficult meetings, projects, or events. Imagine the more peaceful frame of mind you could l be in to give that back-to-school welcome on opening day—or the more centered frame of mind you could be in to discuss complex issues during a late-night board meeting.

And with a little practice, you might just be able to turn your back-to-school nightmare into a dream.

Coaching Affirmations from a Trail Rider

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One of my greatest passions is competing in an equestrian event called Trail. This is a sport that requires connection, forward motion, staying present, and focusing on one footfall at a time.  The partnership between horse and rider is essential in creating the elegance and poise characteristic of a winning ride in the Trail pen.

Clara—my ten-year-old quarter horse mare—has been my trail partner since January 2017. I know her well enough to know the difference between her asking for guidance and trying to take the reins herself. She knows me well enough to know when I’m asking her to round her back and lengthen her stride or when my arthritic left leg simply stops working for the day.

Together, we navigate a series of obstacles that require us to find a precise take off point for her (that’s my job) and an athletic surge of power and elegance as we maneuver over the poles (that’s her job.) An obstacle typically contains a series of wooden poles placed on the ground at varying heights and in differing formations, often surrounded by vibrant and distracting décor. The distance between each pole and the path you choose to take as a team determines the number of strides needed in-between each pole. In order to get to the correct take-off point, I need to focus on each pole and find a six-inch spot in the dirt to fix my eyes upon—signaling to Clara where to put her feet before clearing each pole with each foot.

Working with clients also requires teamwork, goal setting, and forward motion. As a coach, I strive to create an arena of safety and wisdom with each client. People come to the coaching experience seeking a thoughtful partnership that empowers them to navigate their own set of obstacles. Together we talk it out—riding every stride and letting each pole come to us instead of rushing the process and missing importance pieces of the pattern before us.

6 Reasons Why All Leaders Need Coaching–by Dr. Nelly Radler

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Today I am delighted to share Part 1 of an article written by renown coaching expert Dr. Nelly Radler and published in Psychology Today.

In today’s world of increased performance demands and extreme busyness, most leaders are underperforming.

Leading with Emotional Intelligence (EI) helps upgrade your performance by integrating self-skills and developing talent skills to be your best in the moment.

Research from Blessing White Consulting found that the top three leadership skills for the future were: 1) communication, 2) collaboration, and 3) coaching. These are all a part of the EI competency model.

They stated: “If communication skills are the foundation of a leader’s future home, collaboration and coaching create the ground floor. Without a strong foundation of trust and communication, leaders run the risk of directing or deciding instead of collaborating and coaching. Employees will be quick to see this, and despite leaders’ good intentions, fail to inspire and empower their teams to the performance they seek.”

Key Leadership Research

The manager has a key role in the organization. Gallup has found that managers have 70 percent influence over the climate of their team. Sixty percent of employees who left their job said the manager was the reason. Turnover has cost organizations $223 billion (Blessing White, 2018).

Good to great boost: By increasing the number of high-performing leaders, the organization gains great strength… it is tempting to fix low performing leaders, but the greatest gain appears to come by helping more leaders become truly great. Leaders in the top 5 percent had 76 percent of their employees highly committed, where leaders at the 90 percent had 54 percent of their employees highly committed. (Zenger and Folkman 2020)

So a leader considered in the top 5 percent versus the top 10 percent increases employee commitment by 22 percent. That is a huge difference when many can think that the top 10 percent is good enough.

Just like in professional sports, corporate leaders can get a boost and be even better with focused time devoted to their craft with executive coaching.

Coaching can be the quickest way for leaders and managers to manage complexity and improve their communication, collaboration, and coaching skills for the future.

What Is a Coach?

A coach is a thinking partner who works for you and with you to help you reach your best vision for yourself. These are the goals that you want for yourself and think about all the time. The boosting components a coach brings are: 1) A depth of thought to what you think is important; 2) the resources and tools to reach your goals; 3) the motivation and accountability for what you want to accomplish. Coaching encourages a “forced focus” on what is most important to you versus the constant distraction of the urgent.

After 25 years of executive coaching and integrating Emotional Intelligence strategies with top executives and emerging leaders, below are the main reasons why every leader could use coaching.

Why Hire a Coach:

1. Coaching works. You will be a better leader. Here is what we know from the research:

Ninety-eight percent of coaching clients said their coach “provided practical, realistic, and immediately usable input” and helped them “identify specific behaviors that would help me achieve my goals.” (Center for Creative Leadership study, 2016)
Strengths are maximized, and research has shown that 66 percent of those receiving effective coaching report a positive impact on their performance and job satisfaction. (BlessingWhite Consulting, 2015)

Nearly two‐thirds who received coaching said it had a significant impact on their performance and job satisfaction. (BlessingWhite Consulting, 2015)
88 percent of managers said coaching helps them achieve their goals. (BlessingWhite Consulting, 2015)

A 2013 study by Anthony Grant found that executives who received coaching experienced effects that transferred over into the executives’ family life, including heightened work-life balance and improved relationships with family members.

All signs indicate that executive coaching is a sound investment. Studies report an impressive ROI of 500-800 percent. A study conducted by MetrixGlobal LLC, for example, reported an ROI of 689 percent associated with executive coaching (and this finding accounted for the entire cost of coaching, including the opportunity costs associated with the time leaders spent not on the job in coaching sessions).

Citing similar results, the International Coach Federation (ICF) has presented a body of research demonstrating that coaching tends to generate an ROI of between $4 and $8 for every dollar invested. (Greiner, 2018)

2. You have blind spots. We all have them, but if you don’t know what they are, you will continue to undermine your success. Marshall Goldsmith is one of the top executive coaches with Fortune 100 executives. In his research with executives, he says 70 percent of people think they are in the top 10 percent. We all think we are better drivers, cooks, and leaders than we may really be. You don’t know what you don’t know. In some of the organizational literature, this is called “Unconscious Incompetence.”

Executive coaches use validated leadership assessments, 360-degree feedback, and interviews with stakeholders to bring to light others’ perceptions of you. The gap between your perceptions and others’ can establish your blindspots.

This gap can result in some of the hardest conversations for a coach and coachee. A leader says, “I think I have empathy, good problem-solving skills, and good interpersonal relations.” The coach has data on how other people see them and may say, “That is different than how your boss or direct reports see you, let’s look at their perception and talk about the gaps.”

I had a leader who was an ex-Navy Seal, who took a 360-degree assessment, and his self-report had him higher on every competency than did his team or manager. Ouch! That was a challenging conversation to hold the tension and come up with effective strategies that he could accept and focus on.

3. You get less feedback. The higher up you are in the organization, the less feedback you get. As leaders move up the corporate ladder, there is less feedback they get from others in the organization for many reasons. Their direct reports are afraid to give honest and direct feedback for fear of retribution and how that impacts their reviews.

The leader’s boss has high expectations, and it is common only to give feedback if there was a mistake or complaints.

So senior leaders don’t get the feedback they need to continually improve. A coach can not only give you feedback but also help integrate the feedback for specific actions.

4. Change is hard: People want to resist it. In every organization, a major challenge is change, whether it is changing a personal behavior or helping your team deal with constant change. Most leaders are inundated in change scenarios.

Getting people to accept change is a leadership challenge. Coaches can bring best practices on leading change, focusing on behavior change using neuroscience, the psychology of motivation, and performance research to the leader.

5. You are on autopilot and easily distracted. Most of us operate on autopilot much of the time. We take short cuts rather than thinking hard or long about things. Working on your leadership entails taking a hard look at your capabilities and getting off automatic to be more intentional, have a clear focus, and make great decisions.

Researchers tell us we operate out of our habits about 95 percent of the time. If you had the time, what would be your best focus? Coaching is a “forced focus” to stay with what’s important.

There are times I know leaders are not thinking or focusing much on their development or their direct reports unless they are in a coaching conversation. We know that we are interrupted almost every three minutes, and 44 percent of the time, we do it to ourselves. (Mark, 2006) Autopilot and the tyranny of the urgent rule the day and leaders’ focus.

Blessingwhite (2018) Tomorrow’s leaders today found the most valued leadership actions are: communicating effectively at all levels, coaching and developing the team, developing and executing the strategy, and building effective relationships with team members.

6. You tell rather than ask, as it is quicker and more efficient. In the desire for speed, efficiency, and alignment, leaders easily fall into telling their direct reports what to do versus asking or dialoguing with them.

This is the manager’s default. It is the path of least resistance and ensures more certainty for the leader. The unexpected results for the employees can be feeling undervalued, insulted, or put down for their ideas.

One of Gallup’s Q12 questions that lead to more engagement and high performing is answering, “My opinion seems to count.”

Ask and Drain Before You Tell and Fill

The direct report has a bucket full of ideas, and so do you as the leader. It is best to ask and drain their bucket of ideas first before you tell and fill from your bucket. Then individuals feel heard, and it gives you more time to think, and when you are ready, you can deliver a better solution.

Asking your direct reports their thoughts first:

Builds rapport
Increases the quality of decisions
Gets more buy-in for the decisions
Empowers the employees
Trains them to really think
A coach can help you focus on strategies to ask the right questions and do it in a constructive way that empowers others.

If the three key leadership skills for the future are communication, collaboration, and coaching, an Executive Coach can help you get better at all of these skills quickly.


Relly Nadler Psy.D., M.C.C.
Leading with Emotional Intelligence