Catherine Finger

Telling Ourselves the Truth

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The way we address ourselves, think about ourselves and talk to and about ourselves matters. Language has the power to both communicate and shape our thoughts. We use language to express our thinking—but our language can also cause subtle shifts in our thinking. When I allow stray thoughts to linger unexamined and unchallenged in my mind, I run the risk of developing beliefs connected to those thoughts. These beliefs may serve to strengthen me, or these beliefs may undermine me.

For example, if a negative thought pops up in my mind, something like I’m not a good public speaker, and I don’t take note of and examine this thought, it may take root and seep into my belief system. Suddenly, I start to say things to myself that align with this negative thought: I’m not a good public speaker and I’m going to fail when sharing my business plan during next week’s meeting. Notice how my self-talk has now shifted from a stray, negative thought to a new (and nasty!) core belief: I’m not a good public speaker and I’m going to fail.

This negative core belief, left unchecked, will next generate some pretty nasty feelings about myself and my efficacy—without me even being aware of what’s happening in the background of my mind. I’ll catch myself feeling “less than” or struggling with a lack of confidence and these feelings quickly impact my actions and behaviors. My typically fluent speaking style may morph into a series of “ums, glubs,” and “you knows”— leaving me feeling more vulnerable and less capable of doing what for me is a routine task—communicating, interacting and presenting!

How do we flip this around?  By telling ourselves the truth. By identifying and examining those stray thoughts before they sneak into our belief systems. I think of it as a “truth funnel.” Our job is to be aware of thoughts that strike us—becoming stewards of our thinking. Thought gatekeepers if you will. We don’t need to judge ourselves for negative thinking—just become adept and honest acknowledgers of our thinking. And then screen appropriately.

When a negative thought emerges, acknowledge it. Don’t try to ignore it, bury it under happier thoughts, or push it away. Start by simply acknowledging it.  I address mine: “I see you, failure.”  Then I screen it, by asking myself a series of questions about that negative thought designed to examine the veracity of the thought:

  • Is it true?
  • How do I know it is true? What data do I have that supports my answer?
  • Who do I become when I believe this thought is true?
  • Who would I become if I believed the opposite to be true?
  • What truth will I choose to replace this limiting belief?

Centering ourselves on truth is a powerful way to shape our days, our weeks and our lives. Much has been written about the need for defining personal values, seeking wisdom, and clarifying truth. The Old Testament describes the grounding nature of wisdom beautifully in this excerpt found in the book of Proverbs 3:15-18:

She is more precious than jewels;

And nothing you desire compares with her.

Long life is in her right hand;

In her left hand are riches and honor.

Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.

She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her, and happy are all who hold her fast.

Starting your day with time to reflect, read, meditate and refocus yourself on wisdom and truth is a powerful practice. My personal daily practices involve journaling, reading scripture, praying and reflecting by writing. This helps clear my brain of any lingering negative stray thoughts and begin my day with a sense of direction, power, and purpose. I then move onto practical matters, reviewing my schedule and deciding in advance what success will look like at the end of the day.

My end of the day routine is also designed to focus on truth and ferret out any limiting beliefs that may have crept in unannounced. I spend a few minutes reflecting on what went well today for my coaching sessions, meetings and encounters. I level up by asking myself what I did to contribute to that success—and by naming the strengths and attributes I brought to each engagement. Reviewing this list of strengths and attributes, I then commit to using what I have learned today to strengthen my actions and deepen my engagements tomorrow.

Focusing on what went well and what I did to contribute to that success leaves no room for faulty thinking or negative self-talk. Rather, it harnesses the grounding power of truth and wisdom.  Leaning on the gifts and talents with which I’ve been uniquely provided fuels and energizes me to move forward.

Our thinking shapes what we believe to be true about ourselves. Our beliefs generate how we feel about ourselves—and the way we feel directly influences our behavior—every single day.  Today I invite you to think about your thinking. Notice your self-talk. Redirect when necessary, using these tools to generate a more powerful mindset by focusing on what you know to be true.

 

Who Coaches Your Coach?

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As high-quality executive coaching grows in popularity as a leadership development tool for aspiring, emerging and excelling leaders—the pathways for preparing, certifying and monitoring the growth and development of coach practitioners merits further study.

Certified professional coaches embrace ongoing learning and engage in routine professional development through a variety of coaching organizations, colleges and universities as well as through courses offered by a host of recognized coach-specific training programs. In addition to coursework and workshops, coaches often participate in a wide variety of leadership and service roles offered through recognized coaching accrediting bodies, such as the International Coach Federation (ICF,) the Association for Coaching (AC,) and the European Mentor Coaching Council (EMCC.)

Practicing coaches are also encouraged to work independently with a professional, certified coach practitioner utilizing one of two primary coaching models designed to support coaches: Mentor Coaching and Coaching Supervision. Examining one’s coaching practice helps coaches illuminate the subtle choices made during client conversations. Through reflection it becomes possible to recognize and celebrate coaching strengths, uncover blind spots and growth areas and explore the potential for unconscious bias. (Clutterbuck et al, 2016.)

Mentor coaching provides aspiring and emerging coaches with research-based guidance, practice, and feedback on their own coaching habits and practice as they further develop their coaching skills and competencies. The mentor coaching process is one of the developmental experiences required by most internationally recognized coaching accrediting bodies, including the ICF, the AC, and the EMCC. This collaborative process of inquiry and reflection typically occurs over three to six months and may occur one-on-one or in group coaching settings.

Mentor coaching offers a safe space from which to examine coaching mindsets, attitudes, beliefs and behaviors. Coaches partner with an experienced colleague to examine their coaching choices and behaviors while reviewing tapes of real-time coaching sessions and exploring options and opportunities in a climate of trust, mutual respect, and curiosity. The goal of the mentor coaching process is to support the coach in their skill-building journey and to prepare them for success in the credentialing process.

Coaching supervision is a research-based, collaborative process designed to offer experienced coaches consistent opportunities to engage in the practice of reflecting upon their current professional practice relative to coaching best practices, ethics and standards. The goal of coaching supervision is to support the coach as they improve the quality of their work, transform their client relationships, continuously develop themselves, their practice and the wider profession. (Hawkins & Shohet, 2012.)

Coaching supervision helps coaches increase the depth and breadth of coaching resources, models, and tools in a welcoming climate designed to align with the coach’s learning style with a bias toward applying the learning to current client experiences when possible. Coaching supervision also offers coaches support and encouragement for their own personal and professional growth and development—placing special emphasis on engaging in appropriate restorative practices. While a number of coaching supervision models exist, more research is needed to widen the collective understanding of the power of coaching supervision. Current models emphasize the importance of the coach as a person, offering space and experiences designed to explore and deepen their emotional well-being. Best practice in coaching supervision also includes a strong focus on the professional standards and ethical behavior of the coach as well as on their skills, knowledge and overall coaching ability.

Want to learn more about Mentor Coaching or Coaching Supervision? Schedule a complimentary conference call with Catherine to explore options and opportunities at www.catherinefinger.com

How to Get–and Stay–Back on Track

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It happens to all of us—what started as a fresh commitment morphs into a begrudging obligation. Work initiatives begun with vision and fervor lose their appeal. Even the “good stuff” we once delved into with all best intentions no longer finds a moment on our daily calendars and starts slipping off our weekly priority lists and soon find themselves on the way back burner.

How do we get back on track when we notice ourselves sliding into a slump? This article offers five of my favorite practices designed to help us “snap out of it” and engage in more meaningful daily routines of living and being.

1. Circle back to your Mission, Vision, and Values. Remind yourself of what matters most to you personally and professionally. What do you love about your current job, profession, career, or avocation? What are two areas of growth or expansion you would like to pursue or recommit to in the next month? Activating your sense of purpose and meaning and connecting them to your current work is a great way to re-energize.

2. Create a morning routine that invites you into a more peaceful, powerful, joy-filled day. There are many resources available to help you create habits of mind and behavior to start your day off with positive and powerful intentions. I begin each day with four simple practices that feed my body, mind, and soul:
*I spend time reading a devotional, the Bible, faith-based literature, or some compelling coaching-related materials. Refreshing and focusing my beautiful brain with positive literature first thing in the morning helps keep me centered throughout the day.
*I journal—akin to Julia Cameron’s practice of “morning pages” –-as a way of siphoning off the negative and banal as well as sharpening and articulating my intentions for the day.
*I spend time reviewing for and planning my day—and refreshing my perspective. Adding intentions and goals for the day or specific aspects or meetings of the day helps keep me elevated and engaged.
*I move—this can be as simple as going for a quick walk, mindfully engaging in a brief stretching routine, or jumping into a full workout, depending on my schedule. Getting my body moving in the morning serves me well for the rest of the day and helps me prioritize getting up and stretching in between meetings

3. Enlist the help of colleagues and friends. Let others know when you are experiencing a “slump” and invite them into one of your daily practices—or start up a new positive exchange or series of conversations. Chances are good that your colleagues have also lost a little zeal and you could serve them by inviting them to join you on a quick walk around the office complex or reaching out to them with a five-minute chat. Invite them into a discussion of happiness and you might find that you are expanding the joy around you.

4. Re-energize by identifying what makes you happy. I know it may sound a little hedonistic—but happiness matters! A sense of inner joy and delight connects us to our passions, talents, and mission. Ask yourself what makes you happy as it relates to key areas in your life. Jot down the ideas and categories. You’ll need them for the last step.

5. Identify and commit to a simple daily action plan for yourself—featuring the “happiness” items as you clarify what success will look like for you each day. When I catch myself feeling overwhelmed or “down” for more than a few days, I revert to something I call “Finger’s Top Five.” After reminding myself what matters most by articulating what makes me happy—I commit to spending defined amounts of time engaging myself in the following five areas daily:
*10 minutes meditating, reading a spiritual text, or praying. This time limit helps define my morning practice and doesn’t feel intimidating. When I find myself wandering—it’s easy to call myself back when I know I’ve only got nine more minutes to spend. And it’s also easy to be pleased with myself when I “go over!”
*20 minutes engaging with a friend I haven’t seen/spoken to in too long. This could be an email, a phone call, a text exchange, a walk down the hall. But it must happen—every day. And it must include something non-work related. Bonus if this also makes you both smile.
*30 minutes in nature. This could be a walk outside, cuddling with a pet, tending to a garden, or even something as simple as watching hummingbirds flutter in my yard.
*40 minutes engaging in intentional exercise. This could be my daily exercise, a walk, a trip to the gym, or even time walking around the house and lifting impromptu “weights” (when snowed in!) Honor your body by moving and challenging it—without judgment, with as much joy as you can find.
*50 minutes contributing to the well-being of others. For me this could be engaging with a client in a coaching session, it could be volunteer work, it could be helping a friend problem solve. It could be spending time with a partner or family member, with the intent of supporting or delighting them. There has to be an external focus and an intent to be of use to others for this to “count” for me.

What might your “top five” items look like? The key is to define daily practices that you find personally energizing and to give yourself permission to go after them.

Creating and engaging in your daily practices will help lead you back to a sense of purpose—personally and professionally.

Happy Endings–Bold Beginnings

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How will you say goodbye to 2022—and what would you like to be able to celebrate in one year’s time? Endings and beginnings can be powerful transitions in our lives. As we approach the end of 2022, I encourage you to take some time to consider what you want to release—and what goals or milestones you want to reach in 2023.

Make space for reflection over the holiday season. Walk through a set of questions and spend a little time journaling your thoughts. Writing is a powerful tool for reflection as you identify what isn’t working and open yourself to activating more of what works well for you.

Reflection: Take a quick look at this year’s greatest hits.  Scan your year month by month, week by week, day by day—whichever way best serves you. Be mindful of your highs and lows—spend more time on your highs. What went really well for you this year—and how can you leverage that success as you look into 2023? What didn’t work so well for you—and what tweaks do you need to consider moving forward? Don’t let yourself get bogged down in maudlin memories—just acknowledge what you want to let go of to make space for what you want more of in your life. Think of it as cleaning out a closet, or a garage. You can’t park that Maserati if your garage is full of a year’s worth—or more—of outdated detritus. These are some of my framing questions:

  • What did you love about this year? What worked really well for you? What should we be celebrating in your life?
  • What did you hate about this year? What didn’t work so well for you? What do-overs would you give yourself?
  • What were your most joyful moments this year? What do you want more of, looking forward?
  • What were you most painful moments? What do you want less of, looking forward?
  • What did you learn about yourself?
  • What was the best decision you made this year?

Ritual: I call my favorite end-of-year ritual “Burn Baby, Burn!” I’ve done this activity collectively to celebrate the end of a New Year’s Eve party, at workshops and retreats, and sometimes all alone in my backyard. It begins with a brief period of reflection. Guests receive small squares of paper and pens/pencils and are invited to consider what they loved and didn’t love about the past year.  I ask them to think of one thing they want to release, say goodbye to, remove, delete from their lives forever—and to write that down on a piece of paper.  Questions I like to ask include:

  • What do you need to do to clear your own runway for takeoff?
  • What barriers stand between you and success?
  • What are you dying to unload or unleash in your life?
  • What’s holding you back?
  • What habit or practice do you need to stop doing? What do you need to get rid of and eliminate from your life?

Write them all down—and get ready to cast them all off—this is where the fire comes in! I start a small bonfire in my backyard (are my country roots showing yet?) and invite my guests to join me in the frigid winter air. One by one, guests approach the fire and are invited to hold up that piece of paper and proclaim (either silently or out loud) what they are releasing—and then toss it into the fire. Or rip it up into tiny pieces and then toss it into the fire. There will be some tears and there be a lot of rejoicing as the fire builds and your guests experience the freedom of letting go!

Reframe: The last step of my annual reflection and renewal process—and the perfect ending for the “Burn Baby, Burn!” experience—is to breathe in the new. Invite everyone to reflect on what is good, acceptable, and perfect about their lives. I like to encourage my guests with the ancient wisdom of St. Paul: “forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.” Invite your guests to release what has been turned to ashes and to commit to a new habit, practice, promise, or way of being. Have them write down this renewal pledge as a way of saving it in their hearts and minds.

Real change is possible—and transitioning into a new year is a great time to double down on what you want to invite more of in your life. Give yourself the gift of clarity and support as you move toward your own challenges and commitments with renewed intention. Find a friend, hire a coach, sketch out your action plan and post it where you’ll see it every day, invest in an online program—give yourself whatever you need to support the changes you seek. And get ready to celebrate your success at the end of 2023!

Catherine Finger Earns 2022 CEO Today Executive Coaching Award!

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CEO Today announced the full list of winners of their 2022 CEO Today Executive Coaching Awards–and Catherine Finger is featured on page 79! You may see the listing from the CEO Today journal here: https://executivecoachingawards.ceotodaymagazine.com/winners-edition/79/

The following excerpts are from a press release issued by CEO Today  earlier this week: Every month, CEO Today Magazine features perspectives from business leaders at the top of their field. Though they may now be running S&P 500 and FTSE companies, they came from more humble beginnings. Often, their inspirational leadership and management skills were shaped by the expert training of an executive coach.

This new publication aims to celebrate professionals whose work in the world of business is less visible, but no less crucial for it. Every great figure of the modern business world, from Jeff Bezos to Larry Page, has benefited from the work of a coach to sharpen their acumen and perfect their leadership style – an advantage that even SMEs the world over are now beginning to recognize.

The 2022 CEO Today Executive Coaching Awards honor coaches including the likes of Navid Nazemian, Peter Baloh, Borut Jeglič, Tracy Clark, Mercy Situmbeko, Victoria Hepburn–and Catherine Finger. All are shining examples of leadership and emotional intelligence whose insights will fascinate any CEO with ambitions of industry-leading success. We at CEO Today are proud to present this special publication. Congratulations to all of our winners and finalists.

 

 

 

Lessons Learned from Hitting the Wall

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“I hit the wall, Doc. I need your help.”

When one of my highest-performing leaders opened a recent session with this plea for help, it surprised us both. Think Top Gun-era Tom Cruise and ratchet it up several notches. Wildly successful by any measure personally and professionally, this top-of-his-game, prime-of-his-life leader found himself unable to get out of bed and unwilling to engage with anyone other than his wife, his children, and me.

After exploring his experiences and identifying his immediate needs, together we crafted a step-by-step plan designed to support him through this tough time. Part of our planning included prioritizing rest—for his body, mind, and spirit. Once we addressed his immediate physical needs (including a medical review) we moved on to thinking differently about his priorities, scaling back for the moment, and reframing his hard-hitting schedule.

  1. Recognize the wall—and the gift behind the wall. It is shocking to discover our humanity—especially when faced with limitations and needs. Your wall of exhaustion and your faltering body may be trying to get your attention. What is the message behind this wall? What gifts might be waiting to emerge during this debilitating experience?
  2. NOW. Stop, drop and REST. Body, mind, and spirit. I know this is hard for leaders. But not resting and continuing to ignore what your body is trying to tell you can be much, much harder in the long run. And here’s a bonus: as a leader, taking care of yourself in front of your colleagues gives them permission to take care of themselves. What would you tell your best friend if he were experiencing the same symptoms that you are experiencing right now? Give yourself that same stellar advice and follow it.
  3. Reframe your idea of priorities. That urgent work pile is not likely to go away while you are still working. Don’t fall into that trap of “when I get this done, then I’ll…” Peak performers are NEVER done with those urgent projects and initiatives. Learn to manage the anxiety that comes with increased workloads and heightened responsibilities and learn to trust yourself. Change your inner messaging from “I’ll never get this done” to “I’ve got this.” Each day has enough troubles of its own. Keep your focus on the present, and trust that the future will be handled when it arrives.
  4. Reaffirm your faith—including faith in your family, in your ability to bounce back, and in your organization’s ability to survive without you having to run faster than a speeding bullet. Lean into your belief system and trust that there is a larger purpose for your momentary suffering. Who knows what fruit might be developing in your life through this difficult period? You have to go through the wall to get to the other side—but you get to choose whether or not to keep going through that wall. No one else can make that decision for you.
  5. Recognize the talent and power in colleagues around you that may have been waiting for their moment to shine—and give it to them. Empower others to step in and pick up some of your leadership responsibilities—who knows, you may realize that you should have delegated more to your colleagues long ago.
  6. Recruit trusted supporters and invite them to help you recognize the key indicators you missed along the way while heading toward that brick wall. In my client’s case, he’d grown accustomed to being the fastest, brightest, shiniest bulb in any marquis. Whenever people questioned his level of responsibilities and commitments, he would smile and embrace the load—making it look far easier than it actually was. His wife, however, did not. She would question him and offer her advice about his need for solitude and rest—which he routinely ignored. During the quiet moments of recovery from his hitting-the-wall reality, it was her voice he heard in those still small moments while reflecting on what early indicators he might have missed. Going forward, her questions are now a part of his early warning system, as are noticing his emotional state and taking care of his physical need for rest.
  7. Reap the lessons learned and integrate them into the way you work. Several years ago, I was struck with a bout of vertigo at an airport while traveling to speak at a national women’s leadership conference. I remember pushing through my panic and allowing myself to wonder whether this is the time my life changes and no longer includes routine travel to serve others in my leadership journey. I gave myself permission to stay; permission to leave; permission to wait and see what happens next. Several canceled and rescheduled flights later, I arrived at the conference center with a little less vigor than I’d preferred having learned a valuable lesson: I can build enough margin into my schedule to make room for the unexpected. And, if I do have to cancel or reschedule an event due to illness or unforeseen circumstances, I can do that as well. Life doesn’t have to fit inside of our limiting “all or nothing” perspectives. By the way, I did give that speech and I had a wonderful time with a fabulous group of women—and I made it home just fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Executive Coach Catherine Finger Named to 2022 Top 15 Coaches List by Influence Digest!

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I was delighted to be included on the Influence Digest 2022 Top 15 Coaches list for the greater metropolitan Detroit area–and so grateful for my Detroit area clients! This award was made public on August 30, 2022 and included a profile and bio in the Influence Digest edition available at this link: https://influencedigest.com/coaching/top-coaches-detroit-2022/