Catherine Finger

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Happy Endings–Bold Beginnings

December 12, 2022 by catherinefinger Leave a Comment

How will you say goodbye to 2022—and what would you like to be able to celebrate in one year’s time? Endings and beginnings can be powerful transitions in our lives. As we approach the end of 2022, I encourage you to take some time to consider what you want to release—and what goals or milestones you want to reach in 2023.

Make space for reflection over the holiday season. Walk through a set of questions and spend a little time journaling your thoughts. Writing is a powerful tool for reflection as you identify what isn’t working and open yourself to activating more of what works well for you.

Reflection: Take a quick look at this year’s greatest hits.  Scan your year month by month, week by week, day by day—whichever way best serves you. Be mindful of your highs and lows—spend more time on your highs. What went really well for you this year—and how can you leverage that success as you look into 2023? What didn’t work so well for you—and what tweaks do you need to consider moving forward? Don’t let yourself get bogged down in maudlin memories—just acknowledge what you want to let go of to make space for what you want more of in your life. Think of it as cleaning out a closet, or a garage. You can’t park that Maserati if your garage is full of a year’s worth—or more—of outdated detritus. These are some of my framing questions:

  • What did you love about this year? What worked really well for you? What should we be celebrating in your life?
  • What did you hate about this year? What didn’t work so well for you? What do-overs would you give yourself?
  • What were your most joyful moments this year? What do you want more of, looking forward?
  • What were you most painful moments? What do you want less of, looking forward?
  • What did you learn about yourself?
  • What was the best decision you made this year?

Ritual: I call my favorite end-of-year ritual “Burn Baby, Burn!” I’ve done this activity collectively to celebrate the end of a New Year’s Eve party, at workshops and retreats, and sometimes all alone in my backyard. It begins with a brief period of reflection. Guests receive small squares of paper and pens/pencils and are invited to consider what they loved and didn’t love about the past year.  I ask them to think of one thing they want to release, say goodbye to, remove, delete from their lives forever—and to write that down on a piece of paper.  Questions I like to ask include:

  • What do you need to do to clear your own runway for takeoff?
  • What barriers stand between you and success?
  • What are you dying to unload or unleash in your life?
  • What’s holding you back?
  • What habit or practice do you need to stop doing? What do you need to get rid of and eliminate from your life?

Write them all down—and get ready to cast them all off—this is where the fire comes in! I start a small bonfire in my backyard (are my country roots showing yet?) and invite my guests to join me in the frigid winter air. One by one, guests approach the fire and are invited to hold up that piece of paper and proclaim (either silently or out loud) what they are releasing—and then toss it into the fire. Or rip it up into tiny pieces and then toss it into the fire. There will be some tears and there be a lot of rejoicing as the fire builds and your guests experience the freedom of letting go!

Reframe: The last step of my annual reflection and renewal process—and the perfect ending for the “Burn Baby, Burn!” experience—is to breathe in the new. Invite everyone to reflect on what is good, acceptable, and perfect about their lives. I like to encourage my guests with the ancient wisdom of St. Paul: “forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.” Invite your guests to release what has been turned to ashes and to commit to a new habit, practice, promise, or way of being. Have them write down this renewal pledge as a way of saving it in their hearts and minds.

Real change is possible—and transitioning into a new year is a great time to double down on what you want to invite more of in your life. Give yourself the gift of clarity and support as you move toward your own challenges and commitments with renewed intention. Find a friend, hire a coach, sketch out your action plan and post it where you’ll see it every day, invest in an online program—give yourself whatever you need to support the changes you seek. And get ready to celebrate your success at the end of 2023!

Filed Under: & Life, Blog related to Coaching, End of Year Reflection, Excellence in Executive Coaching, Leadership, Personal Coaching, Professional Coaching, Resilience, Set Challenging Goals, Success Coaching Tagged With: Coaching for Educational Leaders, Coaching for Success, End of Year Reflection, Executive Coaching, Executive Coaching for Educational Leaders, Mental Health Support for School Leaders, Professional Coaching, Set Challenging Goals

A Dizzying Proposition

April 24, 2021 by catherinefinger Leave a Comment

One of my least favorite and most disruptive life experiences is the unexpected visit and subsequent long-term relationship with Meniere’s Disease. When first given this French-sounding diagnosis I thought it sounder cuter than it actually is. Five years, permanent hearing loss, daily tinnitus, and numerous bouts of vertigo later—let me tell you it ain’t exactly awesome.

For the blissfully unaware, suffice it to say that bouts of vertigo can range from the mildly annoying—when I move too fast, I get dizzy—to the incapacitating bouts that restrict most movement and don’t even allow me to look at a screen. Which means reading is out, writing is definitely not happening, and if I even move, I toss my cookies. These days are really long, really lonely, and really not so swell.

As a woman of faith, I have come to accept my own vertigo as a thorn in the flesh experience. Sure, I’m praying about it, but I also know my God is bigger than my vertigo and if He chooses to leave it unabated, He must have reasons of His own. Fine. What if one of those reasons involves me writing about vertigo?

Having recently moved through a moderate episode and the emotional hangover that followed, I found myself wondering what an aging serial killer would do if he/she suffered from such inopportune bouts of vertigo. How much fun would it be to write about a killer in the throes of their mission-of-the-moment only to be thwarted not by the authorities, but by incapacitating nausea?

While a better woman would start some sort of compassionate blog designed to encourage others sharing this ridiculous malady, my mind goes straight to my favorite fiction genres of thrillers, suspense, and murder mysteries. The odds are strong that one of my bad guys—or girls—is going to encounter a French-seeming visitor who might just take up a lot more space than originally intended. I’m pretty sure that’s going to make for some fun writing which should translate into an entertaining read.

Here’s to putting our pencils where our struggles lie—and creating stronger stories as a result of our respective journeys.

Filed Under: & Life, Mystery, Older Female Assassins Tagged With: Christian Thrillers, Older Female Assassins, Vertigo Experience, Writing Ideas

Coaching Affirmations from a Trail Rider

March 18, 2021 by catherinefinger Leave a Comment

One of my greatest passions is competing in an equestrian event called Trail. This is a sport that requires connection, forward motion, staying present, and focusing on one footfall at a time.  The partnership between horse and rider is essential in creating the elegance and poise characteristic of a winning ride in the Trail pen.

Clara—my ten-year-old quarter horse mare—has been my trail partner since January 2017. I know her well enough to know the difference between her asking for guidance and trying to take the reins herself. She knows me well enough to know when I’m asking her to round her back and lengthen her stride or when my arthritic left leg simply stops working for the day.

Together, we navigate a series of obstacles that require us to find a precise take off point for her (that’s my job) and an athletic surge of power and elegance as we maneuver over the poles (that’s her job.) An obstacle typically contains a series of wooden poles placed on the ground at varying heights and in differing formations, often surrounded by vibrant and distracting décor. The distance between each pole and the path you choose to take as a team determines the number of strides needed in-between each pole. In order to get to the correct take-off point, I need to focus on each pole and find a six-inch spot in the dirt to fix my eyes upon—signaling to Clara where to put her feet before clearing each pole with each foot.

Working with clients also requires teamwork, goal setting, and forward motion. As a coach, I strive to create an arena of safety and wisdom with each client. People come to the coaching experience seeking a thoughtful partnership that empowers them to navigate their own set of obstacles. Together we talk it out—riding every stride and letting each pole come to us instead of rushing the process and missing importance pieces of the pattern before us.

Filed Under: & Life, Blog related to Coaching, Blog Related to Horses, Coaching for Performance, Executive Coaching, Personal Coaching, Professional Coaching Tagged With: Coaching, Executive Coaching, Horses, Leadership, Overcoming Obstacles, Showing AQHA Trail

Tech Talk

January 24, 2021 by catherinefinger Leave a Comment

I have a confession to make: I may have a slight tech addiction. And I’m not just talking about killing zombies or expanding my online Township empire. I’m talking the rabbit holes I jump down on a regular basis that more often than not find their way into my fiction writing. My current novel features a sixty-year-old protagonist living in the year 2061with a limited vision for life after retirement. Sound familiar?

In an effort to illustrate what addiction looks and feels like in a novel world, I have her growing overly dependent on her A.I. companion, Carver. As the story opens, she prefers his company and their private world to “real” people. What will it take to lure her out of her head and into the real world? What lures us into living in our own “real world” today?

Meaningful relationships, the beauty of nature as represented in my awesome mare Clara, my fabulous canine companion Christie, and the beauty of the Wisconsin world around me—even in winter—all lure me into living robustly on a daily basis. Weaving these basic concepts into a future fictional world are forming the basic structure of my newest story world.

A tech addiction in the year 2021 may not look all that different from a tech addiction in the year 2061—sure, the toys will be cooler, but the basic human drivers remain the same. Our need for connection, intimacy, safety and knowing and being known by others can help us build more satisfying relationships and communities in real life—or online.

What if the relationships we build in the future are with artificial intelligence (A.I.) entities? Will they still count? More to the point, will our minds, hearts and souls make distinctions between humans and A.I. entities in our online relationships? And if you build relationships online—what unique factors exist to differentiate between an A.I. friend and a human friend?

These questions bubbled up as I noticed the changes in my own behavior as a result of COVID19. I have developed deep friendships with people in my coaching and writing communities online—and I “see” many of them on a weekly basis. I haven’t seen most of my “real” friends in my “real” life that often as a result of quarantines and social distancing over the past year.  Integrating these concepts into my writing has led to a story world that keeps me coming back to the keyboard.

Filed Under: & Life, Christian Fiction Tagged With: Artificial Intelligence, Christian Sci Fi, Fiction;, Sci Fi, Writing Ideas

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